A non-binary person is someone who doesn’t adhere to binary gender categories such as ‘man’ and ‘woman’, and who feels better with a gender identity that doesn’t fall within this binary.  

Non-binary is an umbrella term for a range of gender identities that aren’t ‘man’ or ‘woman’. There are different terms for people whose gender identities fall outside of the binary, some of which are: genderqueer, gender non-conforming, agender, genderfluid, and genderqueer. All of these gender identities fall under the non-binary umbrella, although there are slight differences between them. Some non-binary people also identify as transgender, and some don’t. To make things a little easier, we’ve gathered these terms in the image below: 

As you can see, ‘transgender’ is the umbrella concept for people whose gender identity differs from the gender they were assigned at birth. Non-binary is a subcategory of this umbrella, as shown in the image. Please note that not all people who identify as non-binary also identify as transgender - which is why the umbrella only fits under the transgender umbrella halfway. It’s completely possible to identify as more than one of the terms shown in the image. For example, you can be trans, non-binary, pangender and genderfluid all at the same time. If you want to read more about the Trans Umbrella, click here. 

A common misconception about the non-binary gender expression is that it means the person feels they are exactly in between ‘man’ and ‘woman’. While some people might identify that way, there are also a lot of people who don’t feel like that! It can mean you fall on the spectrum anywhere between ‘man’ and ‘woman’, or that you fall outside of this binary. 

 

How many people are non-binary?

European research (1) has shown that 23% of trans people identify as non-binary, 9% as genderqueer, 11% as genderfluid, 7% as agender and 1% as polygender. Whether these numbers are accurate can be debated, as the number of people who are closeted is unknown. Hopefully these numbers will show you that you are definitely not alone! The number of people who identify as non-binary has been on the rise, possibly due to the growing attention for the gender spectrum. There are also many people in the public eye who identify as non-binary, such as Sam Smith, Miley Cyrus, Janelle Monaé and Bella Ramsey. 

Pronouns

People who identify as non-binary can feel more comfortable with pronouns other than ‘she/her’ or ‘he/him’. Common pronouns for non-binary people are they/them, other alternatives are ‘ze/hir’ or ‘xe/xem’. It’s also possible to prefer multiple different pronouns at once. For example, this means you could feel comfortable both with ‘she/her’ pronouns and ‘they/them’ pronouns. Whichever pronouns you prefer, take your time discovering which fit you best. Once you’re ready you could ask people to refer to you with your preferred pronouns. It’s also polite to ask someone’s pronouns when you’re meeting them for the first time. Using the wrong pronouns for someone means you are misgendering them, which can be embarrassing and hurtful for them. If you accidentally misgender someone, correct yourself and continue the conversation. This shows you’re putting effort into using gender inclusive language! 

Nonbinary vs. sexuality

A common misconception about someone’s gender identity is that it’s also related to your sexual orientation. However, these are two separate things! Non-binary is a gender identity unrelated to sexual orientation. Sexual orientation, on the other hand, refers to the gender(s) one is attracted to romantically or sexually. Non-binary individuals can identify with any sexual orientation, just like cisgender people (cisgender means identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth). Recognizing the distinction between gender identity and sexuality fosters inclusivity and understanding, allowing us to celebrate the diverse ways people experience their gender and attraction. Love knows no boundaries, transcending gender and orientation, and should be honored in all its forms.

Gender identity vs. gender expression

When talking about gender we can distinguish gender identity and gender expression. The difference is as follows: 

• Gender expression is how you show your gender to the world through your clothing, hair, makeup, and other outward signals.
• Gender identity is your internal sense of being male, female, neither, both, or something else. It can be fluid and change over time.

A common misconception is that the way someone looks also says something about their gender identity. Gender identity and gender expressions aren't necessarily connected. For example, someone who dresses masculine can have the gender identity 'woman', or the other way around. It's important to remember that you can't always rely on someone's looks to know their gender. This is why it's polite to ask someone what their pronouns are when you meet them for the first time.  

Gender Dysphoria or transition is not a requirement for being non binary!

There are many different ways for non-binary people to explore or express their gender. Some people choose social, personal, or physical forms of expression, while others do not. None of these choices are required to identify as trans or non-binary. It is also possible to feel comfortable in your body while still wanting to explore gender beyond the binary. This is part of what makes being non-binary so diverse: everyone can define their identity in the way that feels right to them, and that can look different for everyone.

The experiences of non-binary people are often more varied than the traditional narratives that are commonly associated with being trans (such as experiencing strong body discomfort, having a consistent identity from a young age, or fitting expected gender roles). Because of this, some non-binary people may feel pressure to explain their identity in ways that match familiar or widely recognized stories, even when those stories do not fully reflect how they feel.

Some non-binary individuals may struggle with feeling “not trans enough.” Especially when talking about their identity with others, they may worry about how they are perceived, or feel that there is little space for uncertainty or fluidity. Many non-binary people share that they sometimes hesitate to use certain labels because their experiences do not align with common stereotypes, which can create a sense of needing to justify or explain themselves. However, it’s important to remember that there is no single way to be non-binary, and no single way to look non-binary. There are many valid ways to be non-binary.