Meet Jasper (he/they). Jasper is Turkish and Portuguese, identifies as genderqueer and nonbinary, and has worn binders for years before top surgery. In this edition of People UNTAGged, Jasper talks about his gender journey, what makes him feel affirmed, and shares honest, practical tips for binding safely.
"At the end of the day the goal is to let your identity shine, not to conform to a certain story written by someone else."
Could you start by introducing yourself, where you come from and how you define your gender identity?
Hi! My name is Jasper and I use he/they pronouns. I'm Turkish and Portuguese, and I've had a really long journey with my gender identity. I've basically identified as every letter in the queer alphabet at some point. For me, the most freeing label is genderqueer. Even though I have fully transitioned by going on T (testosterone) and getting top surgery and a hysterectomy, I identify as nonbinary.
What has your gender journey been like so far?
I could have guessed at the age of 13 that the label genderqueer suited me. That's when I first found out about it, but at that time I lived in Turkey, a very conservative, fascist country. I distinctly remember deciding to ignore it for the time being, since I couldn't have done anything about it.
Years and years later, when I was 17 and in Lisbon, I was surrounded by queer people who gave me the space to explore my gender. That was when I bought my first binder: a really shitty side-clasp one from AliExpress, since that's all I could afford without my parents' support. That's also when I first came out as a trans guy and changed my pronouns to he/him.
It wasn't until I was 20 that I could actually start to medically transition. During that period, I felt more comfortable exploring my femininity as well as my masculinity. The more masculine my body became, the more comfortable I felt expressing my femininity. Finding that balance between both gender expressions, and realising that my performed gender changes from day to day, made me realise that being genderqueer suited me best.
What helps you to feel affirmed in your identity?
What helps me feel affirmed in my identity is being able to combine my masculine body and features with traditionally feminine things, like makeup and revealing clothes. I'm a person who gets a lot of joy from playing around with my physical appearance, like getting piercings and tattoos and trying different haircuts and colours. Trying out different aesthetics makes me feel more at home in myself, now that I have a body I really love thanks to my transition.
You used to bind for a long time before your surgery. Could you share some recommendations for binding safely?
When I was binding, I definitely didn't do it well, and I was in pain from it quite often. I completely disregarded all the rules and suggestions for the sake of maximum compression. I definitely don't recommend that, especially for people who have full days at school or work. I wish I had followed the recommendations not to bind for more than 8 hours and not to sleep in your binder, because then I would have had a more positive relationship with binding.
This is very important to be aware of. But life can get very busy, and you might find yourself in a situation where you need to bind for longer than 8 hours for comfort or safety. What can you do then?
My advice is to take as many breaks from binding as you can handle, especially to prevent long-term damage to your body. If you're spending the whole day somewhere and don't want to be completely without a binder, experiment with trans tape. Tape works for people with bigger chests as well, like I had, but it really requires some experimentation and getting used to. Also, never forget to protect your nipples with a cotton pad, or even better, nipple covers. The pain of removing tape from your nipples is not worth it.
If that's not enough binding for you, you can also try putting tape underneath your binder. That way, you can take off your binder once you hit the 8-hour wall and still have the tape to keep things under control. Also... never try to put on a binder straight after a shower. Just don't. Wait until you're fully dry. It gets stuck on your shoulders or just hurts and irritates the skin when you’re damp.
Another option is to use a binder with a zipper, which makes it easy to take off and put back on later. That makes it easier to take breaks during the day: find a safe place for 5 to 10 minutes, then put it back on and get out there. But taking breaks is not an excuse to bind for more than 8 hours in a row. Just because you take it off for 10 minutes at a time doesn't mean you can bind forever. You should still take it off as soon as possible after 8 hours.
Since this may be considered a non-standard practice, what should people be mindful of to make sure they don't go beyond their body's limits and hurt themselves?
If your body feels even a little bit uncomfortable, that's a sign and you should take it seriously. Pain and discomfort are your body's way of saying something is wrong. If you have any soreness or irritation on your skin, take off your binder and wash it according to the instructions. If you're short of breath, for example during physical activity, that might be a sign that your binder is too small for you or not the right fit. Maybe you should try a longer or shorter binder. I had a short one, and I realise now that it was always digging into my diaphragm because of the fit. I should have had a longer one.
Is there something you want to share with others? Something you wish someone had told you?
Being trans can be really difficult, especially in this world. There are so many factors against us, and not being able to achieve your ideal body can be really frustrating. I think it's important to remember that you are you, no matter what you look like on the outside. You know your identity better than anyone, and no one has the right to disregard or disrespect you.
No matter what stage of your transition you are in, you are still trans enough. No one has the right to invalidate you based on appearances. It's very important to remember that and to stay connected to yourself through your transition, because at the end of the day the goal is to let your identity shine, not to conform to a certain story written by someone else.
Thank you so much, Jasper, for this interview and for sharing your story and tips so openly! Want to see more of Jasper? Follow him on Instagram: @artjuice_czaar.
