In this edition of People UNTAGged we speak with John Michael, a German trans man and content creator who uses he/him pronouns. He shares his personal journey of self-discovery, from dreaming of playing Young Tarzan as a child, to navigating labels, testosterone, and surgery with remarkable determination. Through his openness and creativity, including his upcoming fan film featuring the first trans Sherlock Holmes, he strives to give the trans community the visibility and support he wished he'd had himself.
"Sometimes I wish I could go back and hug that little boy and tell him, just once, that he doesn't have to try so hard."
Could you kick things off by introducing yourself? Your name, where you come from, and how you currently define your gender identity? Has that definition evolved over time?
Yes, of course! So, my name is John Michael, I'm using he/him pronouns and I'm a trans man from Germany. Over the last years, I've tried different labels, going from genderfluid, transmasc, and eventually ended up as the trans man I am today. I love to look back at the process that I went through and how I discovered who I am, even while taking the long way around.
When did the first spark of realizing your gender identity might differ from what was expected hit you? How did that realization shape your path forward?
One of my strongest memories related to this is a casting call for the role of Young Tarzan in the Disney musical. They were, obviously, only looking for young boys, especially because Young Tarzan performs in just a harness on stage. I remember being devastated by the fact that I wasn't allowed to audition. In my eyes I met all the requirements: the right height, the right age, and being a boy. I even went to my mum and asked for a kind of top (a binder) that could flatten my chest so that they wouldn't notice my breast during the audition.
In the end, I learned that part by heart and I performed it quite often in my grandparent's garden, where my grandma would call me her "secret young Tarzan". She later became one of my biggest supporters during my transition. After the Tarzan musical left my hometown, I can't remember ever wanting to play any female roles. Instead, I dreamed of playing Michael Banks, Bert in Mary Poppins, Simba in The Lion King, and Marty McFly in Back to the Future.
Looking back at your journey so far, what moments or achievements are you most proud of?
During my transition, I was always very straightforward about the process I wanted to make, the goals I wanted to achieve and how I wanted others to see me. I never hesitated to correct people about my pronouns or my name, and I put all my energy into starting testosterone and getting surgery. Looking back, it makes me incredibly proud of my younger self. However, just after reaching all my goals, I started to realize how exhausted I was from constantly having to fight for myself.
Sometimes I wish I could go back and hug that little boy and tell him, just once, that he doesn't have to try so hard and that things will work out in the end and that he already is the boy he wants to be.
Your content often uplifts the trans and queer community. What inspired you to start creating in that space, and how have your own experiences shaped the way you share that support?
I think I just try to give people what I would have needed during my transition, something that would have saved me from a lot of loneliness and my anxiety. After I made my first friends, who were also part of the trans umbrella, I started to realize that there were so many others who struggled as much as I did, or even more or in different ways, and that many of them don't feel comfortable opening up about themselves. Like I have mentioned before, I was always very open during my transition. I was so proud to know who I was and I wanted to shout it to the whole world, and that only strengthened my desire to help others.
You share many recommendations for places you've visited. Do you have a favourite memory or spot that has special meaning to you, and why?
I really like Till's Bookshop in Edinburgh. It's one of the places where they filmed for Good Omens with David Tennant and Michael Sheen. When I went there for the first time, they had just wrapped filming and I was with my long-distance friend on our first trip. There was definitely magic in the air. And besides that, who doesn't love to spend their time in a really good second hand bookstore in Scotland.
You post messages about love, pride, and protection for trans youth. What's one message you wish more people understood about the trans community?
That us being ourselves shouldn't be seen as a burden on someone else's life, because this is about a person and their own dreams and not about everyone else. Also, a happy person who experienced love and support during their life and transition will give you even more wonderful things in life than any unhappy human being would ever be able to.
What's a creative project (past or future) that you're most proud of, and what's the story behind it?
I am currently working on my first fan film as an actor and director. The working title for this project is "The Young Sherlock: A Case of Identity". It presents a new adaptation of the beloved detective in a different timeline, and it includes a strong representation of neurodivergent and queer characters, including the first trans Sherlock.
Understanding your gender journey can be long and complex. What would you say to someone who's just at the beginning of that path?
Take your time. Try things out. Go by a different name, change your pronouns. There is no deadline. You can take your life long to change and find yourself.
It's so wholesome that your grandma supported you so strongly during your transition. How did your family react, and how did it impact your experience? What would you recommend to those who may not have supportive families?
My family members reacted either pretty neutrally or supportively. My mum had the hardest start but mostly because she was afraid about my future as a trans man in this world and not because she struggled with me being trans in general.
I think she felt a bit in charge of the choices I was about to make regarding my transition, as a mum trying to protect her child from the cruel part of the world, but as soon as I turned 18 it got easier for her. Probably because she realised that I'm old enough to be aware of the impact a transition will have on my life in both good and negative ways.
What helped me/us deal with the whole situation was that I didn't step back for one second. I corrected people on my pronouns, I went up to the teacher in every class and told them that the name on the list wasn't correct, I informed myself about everything.
I think when someone is able to show the importance of their choices and that they believe in themselves, no matter what storm is coming up, it often leads to other people also believing and helping you. So shortly: Never let other people stop you from being yourself. Be your own biggest supporter.
Your upcoming project seems very exciting! What kind of impact or representation do you hope it will have for queer and neurodivergent audiences?
I just hope that people will feel seen and understood. Maybe they can even use it to show it to other people to describe their feelings better when they can't find their own words yet.
You can find some cool pictures of John below! Thank you for the interview. Make sure to give him a follow on insta: @imaginationbyjohn
